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Showing posts with the label hip dysplasia

I've had an epiphany, so my quest begins...

Hi stranger,

I have come to a realization today in my morning panic attack on the way to work. My self-loathing isnt just the ugly little gremlin that rides on my shoulder and says mean things to me all day long. It makes other people dislike me too, and is probably one of the reasons I have no real friends or family members that will listen to me and help me figure out how I shouldd navigate life when I can't do a lot of physically or mentally demanding task. I need to get rid of the gremlin, I need to get rid of the current very pathetic,sobbing,smelly me. I need to change and i want to change, and I refuse to do it by taking  more medications then I already have to cram down my throat. I will find some lifestyle that I can manage to hold together and today is the day I start doing something about it.

I don't know if you are there or not stranger but if you are, gosh golly please root for me to succeed with this big transformation. At the very least do it because you hope t…

When you try to make lemonade with life's lemons

If you have no sugar, then the lemonade is really just watery lemon juice. I can't imagine how this is supposed to be a motivational phrase for people. I mean I get the point is supposed to be making something pleasant from something sour and gross,  but honestly what if you can't afford the sugar to make it less gross. The same goes for life to be honest, what do you do when you can't afford to leave your shitty job and can't try because you work 80 hour weeks? Or conversely, what if you are disabled enough not to be able to keep a job but the government doesn't classify you as disabled enough to need a disability check. Yes, this conversation has just taken a turn. Today I am going to complain about how hard fibromyalgia makes it to support any decent standard of living independency.

I have had fibromyalgia for about 7 years now  and I was born with bilateral hip dysplacia but no one caught it till just 2 years ago when I became symptomatic. I already am inevita…

The internet said talking could help...

Hi strangers,
 I once tried this blogging thing before but lost the motivation to keep at it. I find it very hard to be motivated...and cheerful...and not suicidal. But that isn't really my fault, I have a very complicated existance, yea it isn't what I'd call a life. To me I think life is something that is supposed to be happy so I honestly refuse to say i have one. I can't seem to find joy in anything. My current job is impossible, I can't seem to do anything right the first time around, I'm probably underqualified and need to consider new options. But I am physically and mentally limited because I have very severe fibromyalgia, and symptomatic hip dysplasia. I can't honestly remember what I said five seconds ago and my stuttering stumble for words makes everyone think I'm an idiot. Needless to say I have been depressed for many years, despite the lies I tell to my doctors. I just don't really have the time or money to be put in an asylum and for…