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Showing posts with the label groaning

I can't believe I'm actually making progress...

Hi Stranger,

I am actually very surprised with myself, this last week I set a bunch of goals for myself to do some things that might make my life better. I wasn't so sure that I'd get to them since I'm very flakey with my resolve and I sure as hell didn't share my list with anyone I actually know. They just tend to be too motivated and stress me out when I tell them I have some ambition so its better not to let them know when I want to make a life change. But anyway, to my surprise I actually got off my ass and scheduled my dermatologist visit to remove some moles, gave my hair a trim AND I applied for some new jobs. I feel like I'm being productive at the moment which almost makes me happy-ish. Don't get me wrong though, I don't think this is the end all to my problems with life, just a surprisingly good start to some really important fixes I need to make.  My boss quit today too, so I guess I won't have a giant pain in my butt yelling at me for a sma…

The internet said talking could help...

Hi strangers,
 I once tried this blogging thing before but lost the motivation to keep at it. I find it very hard to be motivated...and cheerful...and not suicidal. But that isn't really my fault, I have a very complicated existance, yea it isn't what I'd call a life. To me I think life is something that is supposed to be happy so I honestly refuse to say i have one. I can't seem to find joy in anything. My current job is impossible, I can't seem to do anything right the first time around, I'm probably underqualified and need to consider new options. But I am physically and mentally limited because I have very severe fibromyalgia, and symptomatic hip dysplasia. I can't honestly remember what I said five seconds ago and my stuttering stumble for words makes everyone think I'm an idiot. Needless to say I have been depressed for many years, despite the lies I tell to my doctors. I just don't really have the time or money to be put in an asylum and for…